Second Chance

Terrified
Guilty
Unloved
Surrounded by those who know me only for my sin
They do not see me
They do not love me

Pressing in at all sides
Panic
There is no escape
Suffocated by the weight of what I’ve done

There is no second chance
No hope of redemption
I have made my choice
And now I must suffer the consequences

I shrink
And cry
Hoping against hope
But I see the rocks
The hands lifted to strike
I cannot escape my fate
I close my eyes
And pray that my God will forgive me

But the rocks do not come

I open my eyes
The crowd has parted
There is a man
He bends and draws in the dirt
Everyone watches

He stands
And he speaks
And one by one
The men walk away
Until just the two of us remain

He comes to me
He lifts me up
He looks at me
He sees me
And He loves me

“Go and sin no more.”

I laugh
Cry tears of joy
My prayer has been answered
My God has forgiven me
The weight is lifted
I can breathe once more

He smiles
Looks at me with love
We embrace
I am made new

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What Happens After This?

What happens after this?
When the list has been checked off
When we come to the end of the map
Where will we go?

What happens after this?
We’ll go our separate ways
No longer bound together
We’ll be alone again

What happens after this?
We’ll be on our own
Smaller than we’ve ever been
Struggling to find our way

What happens after this?
We can’t go back
We’re afraid to go forward
It’s terrifying

What happens after this?
Well try to find our way
We’ll stumble through as best we can
But maybe we will fly

What happens after this?
We could go anywhere
We could do anything
How can we choose?

What happens after this?

Mixed Messages

You have your whole life ahead of you!
Better start planning now

There is a world of opportunities for you!
Make sure you narrow it down

Live while you’re young!
Make sure you’re a responsible adult

Don’t worry about the future!
You need to plan ahead

You’ve got plenty of time!
Don’t waste it

You don’t need to make any huge decisions!
What are you doing with your life?

You can always do something else!
Figure it out now

Do what makes you happy!
Make sure you can pay the bills

So many messages
So many well-meaning advisors

I’m left with one question:
What do I do?

Worth So Much More

You are broken
You are hurting
You feel you are unworthy

You think yourself unlovable

You have been wounded
You have been betrayed
Those who should love you most
Have left you alone

You are lost
You search for meaning, for love
But you are guarded
You don’t want to be hurt again

So many times you’ve been abandoned
So many times you’ve been told you’re not worth it
So many times you’ve had your heart ripped out and trampled on

And you believed the lies

Child, you are loved more than you could ever know
You are worth so much more than you can fathom
You deserve only the best

But you believe the lies

Darling, you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are loved

You were created for big things
Do not settle for “good enough”
You deserve to be happy
You deserve to be loved

But you believe the lies

Why can’t you understand how special you are?
There is no one on earth like you
You are irreplaceable
You are my beloved

But you believe the lies

Abandoned

I feel overlooked
Abandoned
I’m pandering to their needs but no one cares about me
I’m there to make things easier
For them

Things have changed
I’ve become obsolete
There are new, better things to do
New people to meet
I’m no longer needed
Except to clean their mess

I help where I can
Because that’s what friends do
But friendship is a two-way road
And I’m wearing myself thin

I can’t keep covering for others’ shortcomings
They need to learn how to live on their own
I can’t always be so nice
It’s hurting me

I want to be loved for me
Not because it’s easy or convenient
I’m tired of being overlooked
Why don’t they see me?

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry if I hurt you
That was never my intent
It might be too late to change things now
But I want to say I’m sorry

I thought that I was ready
But I jumped in far too deep
I overstepped and tumbled down
And I’m afraid I took you with me

I didn’t know myself like I do now
I thought that I was someone else
I was still trying on faces
And you suffered for it

I thought that I was better, stronger, braver
I thought I could take on the world
I didn’t realize that I am weak
I wouldn’t let you help me

I had big dreams for the future
I wanted to save the world
I thought I could do it myself
And you saw me fall

I have grown up since then
I have gotten wiser
I have been humbled
And I’m ready to try again

I know that I’m not perfect
I have a long way to go still
But I am continuing on
Growing wiser with every step

So I’m sorry if I hurt you
I know that you’ve been wounded
You got caught in my mistakes
I want you to know that I’m better now

I’m sorry if I hurt you
I pray that you can heal
I know it will take time
I hope you can forgive me

Walls of Smiles

Her walls are made up of smiles
Of “I’m okay”s and “How are you?”s
She smothers her sadness for others
She has to be happy for them

A storm is raging underneath
But she will not let it show
Her walls are made up of smiles
And no one will ever know

She is a shoulder to cry on
And a rock for her friends
She smothers her sadness for others
But how long until it smothers her?