Second Chance

Terrified
Guilty
Unloved
Surrounded by those who know me only for my sin
They do not see me
They do not love me

Pressing in at all sides
Panic
There is no escape
Suffocated by the weight of what I’ve done

There is no second chance
No hope of redemption
I have made my choice
And now I must suffer the consequences

I shrink
And cry
Hoping against hope
But I see the rocks
The hands lifted to strike
I cannot escape my fate
I close my eyes
And pray that my God will forgive me

But the rocks do not come

I open my eyes
The crowd has parted
There is a man
He bends and draws in the dirt
Everyone watches

He stands
And he speaks
And one by one
The men walk away
Until just the two of us remain

He comes to me
He lifts me up
He looks at me
He sees me
And He loves me

“Go and sin no more.”

I laugh
Cry tears of joy
My prayer has been answered
My God has forgiven me
The weight is lifted
I can breathe once more

He smiles
Looks at me with love
We embrace
I am made new

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What Happens After This?

What happens after this?
When the list has been checked off
When we come to the end of the map
Where will we go?

What happens after this?
We’ll go our separate ways
No longer bound together
We’ll be alone again

What happens after this?
We’ll be on our own
Smaller than we’ve ever been
Struggling to find our way

What happens after this?
We can’t go back
We’re afraid to go forward
It’s terrifying

What happens after this?
Well try to find our way
We’ll stumble through as best we can
But maybe we will fly

What happens after this?
We could go anywhere
We could do anything
How can we choose?

What happens after this?

Who Am I?

Who am I?
Underneath it all
If you strip away the mask
All the labels
All the hobbies
All the friends
All the things I hide behind

Who am I?
At my very core
My deepest self
My truest self
Have I ever met this person?
Would I recognize myself?

Who am I?
Peel back the layers
All the things I call myself
All the ways I define myself
All the people who I’ve let define me
Take it all away
Show me who I am!

What makes me who I am?
What are the things that cannot be taken away?
What should I hold on to?
What should I fight for?
What should I let go of?
Show me who I am!

I surrender myself
I give it back to you
Make me pure
Show me who I am!

Mixed Messages

You have your whole life ahead of you!
Better start planning now

There is a world of opportunities for you!
Make sure you narrow it down

Live while you’re young!
Make sure you’re a responsible adult

Don’t worry about the future!
You need to plan ahead

You’ve got plenty of time!
Don’t waste it

You don’t need to make any huge decisions!
What are you doing with your life?

You can always do something else!
Figure it out now

Do what makes you happy!
Make sure you can pay the bills

So many messages
So many well-meaning advisors

I’m left with one question:
What do I do?

One More Year

If my time was running out
If I had one year to go
I would live differently

I would embrace every moment
Spend time with those I love
Love those I’m with

I would not waste time
Do the things I love
Become who I have longed to be

I would try to make a difference
Help those who need it
Stand up for the little ones

I would worry less
Live every moment
Be fearless

I would travel more
Try new things
Go on adventures

I would give more hugs
Say “I love you”
Smile more

I would mourn for the moments I’d never have
Be thankful for all the moments I did have
See every moment as a blessing

I would appreciate every “last”
Apologize and forgive
Strive to be my best

If I had one year left
One more year on this earth
I would live differently…

But why wait?
Why say “what if”?
I say LIVE NOW!

Embrace every moment NOW
Be your best NOW
Do what you love NOW
Make a difference NOW
Help others NOW
Worry less NOW
Be fearless NOW
Travel NOW
Try new things NOW
Go on adventures NOW
Give hugs NOW
Say “I love you” NOW
Smile NOW
Be thankful NOW
Apologize NOW
Forgive NOW
LIVE NOW!

Do not wait for tomorrow
Our days are numbered
Do not waste them

The past cannot be changed
The future is not certain
Now is all we have

LIVE NOW!

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry if I hurt you
That was never my intent
It might be too late to change things now
But I want to say I’m sorry

I thought that I was ready
But I jumped in far too deep
I overstepped and tumbled down
And I’m afraid I took you with me

I didn’t know myself like I do now
I thought that I was someone else
I was still trying on faces
And you suffered for it

I thought that I was better, stronger, braver
I thought I could take on the world
I didn’t realize that I am weak
I wouldn’t let you help me

I had big dreams for the future
I wanted to save the world
I thought I could do it myself
And you saw me fall

I have grown up since then
I have gotten wiser
I have been humbled
And I’m ready to try again

I know that I’m not perfect
I have a long way to go still
But I am continuing on
Growing wiser with every step

So I’m sorry if I hurt you
I know that you’ve been wounded
You got caught in my mistakes
I want you to know that I’m better now

I’m sorry if I hurt you
I pray that you can heal
I know it will take time
I hope you can forgive me

Walls of Smiles

Her walls are made up of smiles
Of “I’m okay”s and “How are you?”s
She smothers her sadness for others
She has to be happy for them

A storm is raging underneath
But she will not let it show
Her walls are made up of smiles
And no one will ever know

She is a shoulder to cry on
And a rock for her friends
She smothers her sadness for others
But how long until it smothers her?